Introspective

Introspective…yes I am …..

Men learn from experience but I think few are not….

Learning is to understand something which is new….and whatever we feel new, is to learn….so mistakes are obvious…this is how we console ourselves. I am now taking out the regrets, regrets I have inside. I am more involved in thoughts, thoughts on something that takes away my breath.

I feel I sound sillier and thoughts are like more immature. But I am no way hiding myself…here I write about my thoughts…m expressing myself…. to give away the pain and to grab the reality (even though I am not sure when I will learn about the life and when will I face the reality and act accordingly)

I am trying to find out the intensity ….I think I m insecure now….

I am not insecure coz I fear to share…but I m insecure to loose the one or my love or my bond…or “myself”

What I am trying to prove myself is strange…yeah even it is strange for me…everyday I end up in thoughts that confuses me…we human beings are strange in all the ways…

I have heard women are more mystic…I really feel like I m the one...but I m not…I am always open with thoughts and opinions. Sometimes it turns to be an advantage but at times disadvantage…but it has given me so many friends...there are few around me, always...souls give me affection, support and caring. Sometimes I am over rated and I run away…

Confession….

Confession….

I wish I never feel it….to confess…

Days were nice with smiles and hopes

Laughing with rejoice, talking with excitement.

I had decided to know more about what I was kept in mind for so long….

I realized, got to know myself and felt my love….

It came to me with deepest routes…..

Unknowingly ………..

To depart...

To depart…is pain, but I know I am punished to forget you, with no choices….

I was with unconditional love…..

Now I am filled with everything conditional…

I m more selfish…more possessive..more lovable…

understand.....

love made me what I am now….

I am exhauted..

I am exhausted….I think its time….time to exhaust my thoughts, more over m helping my self to dig out all my persuasions.

Hope I can give justice to myself….

I am a person who has so much of botheration about others feelings. It has come up with more troubles than goodness… Knowing about the positivity and the negativity ourselves we undoubtedly go with the intuition. Intuitions have to be followed. That is the new modern thinking about life. I always go with the majority and go with the new inventions…but it does make me think about the future than the moment we go through. I am hearing more about the momentary happiness, happiness which is not in anyways involved with the past or our future. I doubt about my future but there again I would have enjoyed whole of “the moment”. Now I feel like I represent the crowd that makes no sense, no future precautions towards life. Life has to come with new things new declarations which may give us bitterness or it may give sweetness but accept the fact and enjoy the moment. It seems to be so fairy and to go through the phases it is hard, hard to overcome. I have gone through many, let me be genuine here…every time, after passing those ways I had a smile on my face.

I have been taught to live in the present (yes I have been "taught", coz i was worried thinking about my past and was worried about my future) and I am enjoying the moments given and being expressive. Being expressive to show myself to the utmost, am excited with the experience which I never had or I was wishing for years I lived. Yes the moments, precious with love and lust… now it scares…..y scaring me showing the future…there is nothing…nothing other than the responsibilities..nothing other than my bending shoulders with weird moments..I can see the grey eyes and it fades...with the lonely soul…..its me with the lonely soul…..do I live with the fear…or should I experience the moment gives me life……???

I am growing younger….am living through the days I would have gone through, I wished or I was dreaming about… I am surprised, for the one.... not feeling the hands upon me for each and every passionate moment I share…..or we share….now I scribble for you for the love we have in between.